Held
by Runs with Werewolfs
Summary: It felt good to be held. Jarlos. all Carlos wants is for James to hold him. warning, major fluff.


**Held**

* * *

Carlos believed that there were a few things people really needed to be truly happy- good friends, good family, good food and a trust, always there, helmet. He also. However, believed that there were some things that people just wanted and so couldn't live without- romance, respect and hugs. Sometimes, however, he was pretty sure that hugs were a necessity to life.

Of course, Carlos fell in love with James, who hated hugging and touching. James would sometimes pat Carlos's shoulder, or mess with Carlos's hair, but he rarely wrapped his arms around Carlos and held him. Carlos hated this, because the few times that James had- James felt so good. Muscular arms, broad shoulders, to tiny Carlos, James felt good. James felt really good. Better than anything, really.

Sometimes, Carlos was jealous of Kendall and Logan. More specifically, Logan, who got to be held and spoiled. Carlos would give anything for more physical contact with his boyfriend, for a few moments, even, when Carlos and James could be the way Kendall and Logan were. He wanted kissing in the rain, dancing in the rain- dancing WHILE kissing in the rain. Carlos wanted that, just once, one moment where James cared about someone more than himself. One moment where Carlos was the center of James's world, the same was James was the center of Carlos's universe. Carlos didn't think that was asking too much.

Carlos looked up as Kendall walked into the room, holding a basket of laundry, being on laundry duty this week. "Hey, I just finished folding your-Carlos, are you _crying?" _Kendall asked, stopping, and putting the laundry on the bed before crossing over to the window seat and sitting down. "What's wrong? Did you and James have a fight?" he asked softly.

Carlos shook his head. "I need something physical, Kendall. James never holds me, never. I think he's held me twice in the last 6 months." Carlos moaned. "Why doesn't he love me, Kendall? I love him more than anything in the world!"

Kendall sighed. "He does love you, Carlos. He just has a weird way of showing it." Kendall informed him. "He doesn't want to hurt you"

"Why won't he hug me then?"

"Carlos,I don't know why, maybe you should go talk to him. He might not even realize what you want." Kendall said. "He might figure that because you're a guy, you're not into being affectionate. I figured that with Logan for a while, until he slapped me upside the head one day and told me that we were in a relationship and I needed to hug him once in a while."

"You think I should?" Carlos asked softly, looking down at his feet, rubbing at his eye with the side of his hand.

Kendall patted his back. "He's out in the living room, vacuuming with Katie, do you want me to go get him?" he asked. "Or do you want to talk to Logan first, you know, since he'll know how to word it and all"

Carlos shook his head. "Logan doesn't know shit about James" he scoffed. Kendall punched him in the arm and stood up.

"Okay, I'll send him in." Kendall said, standing up. He patted Carlos on the back. "Just be honest with him, okay?" Kendall urged, walking to the door. He stopped at the door. "and-uh-be very clear about everything, you know how James can kind of- make a mess of things. I don't want to have to drive you to the hospital because James thinks "I want you to touch me" means "Make love to me and don't stop even if I'm crying for you to stop"

Carlos blinked. 'Would he do that?" he asked, concerned.

Kendall shrugged. "Probably not." He said, shutting the door.

James came in a couple minutes later, holding a feather duster in his hand. "Hey, Kendall said you wanted to talk to me. Have you been crying?" James asked, raising his eyebrow. "What's wrong?" he asked, sitting down in the spot Kendall had vacated.

"Why don't you love me?" Carlos asked softly, looking away.

James cocked his head. "What? Carlos, I adore you" James said softly. "Why do you think I don't?" he asked softly.

"Because you never hold me or do anything romantic with me. I'm so jealous of Logan because Kendall always has an arm around him, or is surprising him with romantic things or rubbing his shoulder's after reheashal, saying "I love you". You don't do any of that."

James sighed. "I didn't know you wanted that" he said softly.

"I do. You're so into personal space and "your bubble" that you don't hold me or hug me. You're my boyfriend, you should hold me. That's all I want. To be held, a hug, something. No one has hugged me in 3 months, James. I grew up in a family where physical affection, hugging each other, that's what we did. And you don't hug me, no one does"

James sighed. "Carlos, I'm sorry" he said softly. He opened his arms. "Come here" he said softly. Carlos crawled into James's lap and let James wrap his arms around him. "I love you" James whispered as Carlos's head fell onto James's chest. "I promise, I'll try to remember to be what you want sometimes. " he said softly. He honestly didn't want Carlos to feel like James didn't want him, because James didn't want anything more. "I love you , darling"

Carlos smiled. "I know" he said softly. And it was silly, but after so many months of James not even touching his arm, being in James's arms felt really good. And Carlos knew, James really did love him.

It felt good to be held.

A/N: Yeah idk, please review…


End file.
